Pregnancy After Special Needs

One of the very first things John and I talked about after Madison got sick was the future of our family. We had always planned on having 3 or 4 kids, but as we sat in the hospital room watching our 11 day old babygirl fight for her life, we knew our entire future had just changed. How did Madison get sick? Could this happen again? Will we be able to handle another child or children with so much unknown ahead of us? We didn’t know the answers to those questions then, and we still don’t know the answers...

How Can It Be, My Baby is (almost) 3!

That’s right, my little miracle girl will be 3 next week! And truly I cannot believe it. I know all parents say that; I know all parents feel the shock of how fast time goes when it comes to watching their children grow; but birthdays hit different for parents in the medical world. 3 years ago I was thrilled to become a mom, the only thing I’ve ever wanted to be, and dreamed of all the things I would do with my little girl. But life didn’t go as planned. Instead of celebrating Madison’s first monthly milestone at home,...

Just a Cold

I know you’ve heard it a million times. I know you’re probably tired of hearing it; the many moms pleading with you to stay home when you’re sick. But believe it or not this very simple concept seems to fall on deaf ears over and over again. For some reason people are not understanding why they need to stay home for a measly cold. They continue to claim they’re “fine.” Their child with the runny nose and slight cough, is “fine.” It’s “nothing.” It’s “just a cold.” Well I’m here to tell you it’s NEVER just a cold. A...

Why I Love Social Media

I love social media. There, I said it. Yes, it can be full of politics, and petty drama, and rude comments, and insensitive or uneducated remarks. And yes, it can be mindless and addicting in an unproductive but super fun way. (You can bet my hubby & I send each other funny memes while we sit in the same room lol). But it can also be incredibly connecting and wonderful on a much higher level. It can tether us to people and organizations that we may never have known. And for a special needs mama like me, those sort...

My Child is Disabled

My child is disabled. She’s only two years old, and she’s severely disabled. I can’t express into words how hard it is to say that sentence. When we had Madison’s first MRI done post meningitis and saw the damage that awful disease did to her brain, we knew then and there she would never live a normal life. It’s some of the worst news you can receive as a parent. The brand new baby you had prayed for your whole life; the baby that passed every test in the book during pregnancy; the baby that was born healthy; is...

Always Worth It

If you follow me on Instagram then you know I spent last week in Maine for a little fall family getaway! We had this trip planned for months, and almost cancelled it countless times because so many things have been popping up, but ultimately decided we deserved some time away together. While we were away I decided I wanted to share a blog post about the importance of making memories when you have a medically complex child, but as our trip ended with a tough day and then a TON of traffic leading to a huge seizure filled meltdown...

Hospital Hell

It’s hard to believe an entire week has already come and gone. One minute we were in Rhode Island on a mini vacation, and the next we’re in the hospital. I lose all sense of time when we’re in the hospital with Madison. Sitting in the same chair EVERY SINGLE DAY is hard. Sleeping in a windowsill is hard. Trying to comfort your child while they’re hooked up to multiple machines is hard. It’s just all around hard, and the days sort of just blur together. The first few days of a hospital admittance tend to be the scariest...

Two Years!

Well, my babygirl is about to turn TWO! TWO! I just can’t believe it. Her birthday comes with such a whirlwind of emotions. When you see your infant almost lose their life, when you live in a hospital room, when you’re forced as brand new parents to have “the” talk about what could happen when you pull a breathing tube, you become faced with the reality that your baby may not ever celebrate a birthday. And yet, here we are, two very hard years later, celebrating all of the strength, perseverance, and love Maddie girl has shown us all...

A Happy Maddie

Alert. Clear. Vocal. HAPPY. These are a few of the words I would use to describe Madison lately, and it’s been wonderful! What’s changed? Well not much, aside from starting a new CBD and weaning one of her seizure meds a few months ago. We’ve also finally figured out a good combo for keeping her constipation under control, and her teething spell has just about ended. Okay, so maybe a few things have changed! Regardless, she’s been a new child lately and John and I have been soaking in every minute. One of the worst things about epilepsy, is...

The Truth About Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. A day to celebrate the strength and love of all the moms and mom figures in our life. A day that is truly special for many. But what about for those that have lost their mother? Those estranged from their mothers? Those longing to be a mother? And those, like me, who’s journey into motherhood hasn’t been like what they had hoped or dreamed of. For us, this day can stir up a wide range of emotions and be extremely difficult. Last year was my first Mother’s Day with Madison, and it...